It was like a Michael Bay sized explosion located in my pussy.
Don't judge me. Haven't eaten all day so I'm in my room sticking my finger in peanut butter, then jam, then my mouth.
found out this morning via facebook that the guy i met last night has a wife and a baby and he took me to his apartment where he takes girls to cheat on his wife
i mean you met him at the daytona 500
he just ordered a side of pineapple and winked at me. too much for a first date. come get me.
Either allow it in a formal toast or i will drunkenly tell your in-laws while i'm dancing on their table. either way, the truth is coming out
You swear the intervention is for her? I've fallen for that one twice.
I can't believe that 100lb chick tackled me through a flight of stairs
She looked at my cock with a kind of resigned disappointment.
Leave the bottle at home cause either way I'm not taking another shot. You have no idea how long it took me to compose this text free of grammatical error.
Gold star for you, but I'm on my way and the soco is buckled in next to me. This is happening.
I don't know. I was hiding and the bed was banging. I am going to sleep now in someone's car.
Do you have any idea how hard it is to iphone keyboard type "roflcopter" when intoxicated?
I'm just trying my hardest not to get addicted to drugs or pregnant and all your other friends are out there getting married
I tried to walk home in my heels. And I fell into a snow bank. And then I cried and a policeman came up to me and said I can't sit in a snowbank and got me a cab. So maybe that's where I left my credit card. I remember the cop asking me if I was old enough to drink, too. OMG. How embarrassing. Pretty sure I told him to "leave me alone."
If that guy asks u bout me, I said my name is Jenelle, from CT, I'm a cat behiavor consultant and I'm 29. Back my story up
There's a possibility I may have hooked up with that British guy...
Possibility? You left the door open! Everyone saw!
Randomize
