i am sorry to ask, but i need y0ur honest opinion . when i turn sideways to someone, does my nose stick out like a beak ?
we saw you sitting at the door of the dorm trashed, wrapped in DANGER tape with a stolen balloon around your wrist
No more Irish car bombs ever.
I woke up under a table, with a huge Mexican sombrero, a box of 120 doughnuts and a bloody nose. It all screams success.
im not going to any frat parties next semester. for once i want them to think its actually hard to get in my vagina
I hid drinks in her bathroom closet.... like a squirrel... a squirrel who knew she was going to get cut off soon
Besides asking our teacher if he enjoyed being fisted did I have any other tragic moments last night?
Don't underestimate her when she starts going by "the vodka queen"
Eating an ice cream sandwich while your little bro gets me weed. May I adopt him?
I have a sixth sense for dads free balling in gym shorts
I probably should have eaten more before I started shotgunning beers at 9am, but it was so much damn fun.
How much weight does it take to launch a cat using a trebuchet vs the tension required for a catapult?
My neighbors are white girl rapping to Hamilton again...
I still hate everything and everyone around me. Krampus taught me nothing.
You were only speaking with either thumbs up, thumbs down, or high fives haha
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