yesterday i saw a blind man guiding himself into a NYC tour bus... and i thought i waste money
Last night was an abortion. I might need a publicist.
hot girl, 5 o clock
do you know how to read a clock?
Thanks for ditching me last night. I got a ride home from the Dominos delivery guy. You owe me 3 large pizzas.
Just took a beer bong out of snuffaluffagus's trunk. Your move
Your kinda stuck between a rock and his hard dick on this one..
Nope we're in the ER. He lit himself on fire trying to impress another girl with magic tricks.
Do you think it'd be inappropriate to have an I'm Not Keeping My Baby Party the day after her baby shower?
The main two things I remember from last night is you "spanking Katey into reality" and watching her barf in terror.
I feel like i could break down a fucking wall with this boner
Soooo, coming over soon?
I'm on my fifth cocktail in twenty minutes. I don't think I will end this on two legs.
I'm doing somethin that's never been done before...the 10 am booty call come over
Apparently I really was petting a bunny named lazarus in Jimmy Johns last night.
I just baby talked my cat. While getting ready for bed... Before 10 on a Friday. I'm officially a cat lady.
Woke up in a car, do you own a silver car parked a few miles form the house...hope so
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