dude you just took shreks wife home. what the fuck is wrong with you
when a bears hungry he eats besides shes got her nipples pierced
porn bloobers exist! never have i laughed so hard while jerking off!
that's what penises do
they tell lies.
the boys lacrosse roster just went up... now we can see who we had sex with
Use motel 8. I'll give you my credit card #. i'll pay for it cuz i care about your vagina.
I FUCKING SERVED PEOPLE AND POURDED JUGS AND GOT FREE BEEEEEEEERERTERRY
I just woke up to three voicemails from you. In the first one you just straight laughed for 3 minutes. In the second you did bird calls. In the third you were hysterically crying. Have fun last night?
I have a lot of questions this morning, most of them start with "Did I..."
Packing for college has become a game of where did I hide my sex toys.
I think the best course of action at this point is to cut his balls off to get him to stop reproducing
it’s not easy to sexualize brunch. work with me, babe.
But he was still all, "YOU TEXTED TONY WHILE YOU WERE GETTING FUCKED?!" Like THAT was the weird part.
How is it that on the one day I'm just moving my car at 6:30 I get the walk of shame looks but when I come home at 9 am in a torn dress holding heels old ladies smile at me?
I don't know where you went, but if you're anywhere near the liquor, pour me another drink
I see more hoeing in ur future
Randomize
