So I went into my gym pretty wasted and asked the trainer guy if i could order a cock meat sandwich. Needless to say, I'm canceling my membership tomorrow.
oh, and bring over your fire extinguisher. we're gonna get the mailman again
...i had to draw her a diagram of her own vagina. including a little arrow to the clitoris. shouldn't it be the other way around?!?
he actually proposed, and i threw up on him...i guess 5 glasses of wine was a bad idea.
is it normal that we went to that class once and both got 100's on the final? ohhhh, arizona state.
I don't know if you remember, but I was only wearing an afghan.
I hope after we constantly bang for 2 days straight we can agree to be friends again
he gave me a thermos so I could take my coffee with my on drive of shame. I was unexpectedly grateful...
possibly one of my favorite moments was wiping it off your nose after you high fived a bouncer
You threw your body across the gross couple hooking up on the couch and demanded they scratch your back. I love you drunk on peach schnapps
the bartender knew what was up when i took a sip of my drink, gagged and asked her to water down my water
you said something about joining a k-pop band before passing out topless on the trampoline.
I'll just bring the big suitcase this trip so I don't have to play wine bottle tetris again.
Correction: Jimmy johns. The one pita pit employee has been an asshole to me ever since you locked them out of the store
Why the fuck is Ian Naked eating string cheese in my guest bedroom?
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