I was just curling my hair topless and I just burned my nipple. Ouch.
Fact: Godrick looks like David Archuleta
I'm dreading the fact that when the dominoes guy comes, he will ask me if i placed an order under the name "high as shit".
The pine trees are waving at me.
Put the pipe down honey.
Hi trees.
When his Irish accent comes out my uterus hums. Or some productive organ down there, I'm not sure of the logistics
who was wearing the fake mustache? I just found one in my cleavage
ive penciled you in for a day of excessive drinking
He is into some weird shit i walked in his room last night he was waving his hard dick around hitting shit yellin cock fight
I can never go back to Jacksonville. We think I may have punched a child in the face while on acid...
I put xanax in the cake batter
Did you really? It all makes sense now.
Urgent. Do not ignore. What does this "=$" shit mean. Quality foreign dick is at stake here
Found this cake smashed up inside a box on the sidewalk. Im saying yes to adventure and eating some.
Taking a nap. Sidewalk cake kicked my ass. It had boston creme filling!
I was so high I kept trying to flush the toilet with the light switch
I'm the one who said we should take things slow. I'm also the one who forced him into the back on my car so we could have sex.
the cop found his r2d2 bong and asked me if i ever smoked out of him. i'm like, no sir. he's like ahh. if i were to smoke, it'd definitely be out of some star wars character.
easily made my night.
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