She was indeed spoonfeeding you potato salad out of that giant bowl with a giant spoon. Dont feel special, she was giving it to everyone that left the bar.
Get dressed, I have 50$ and you need a new beer pong table since we threw yours off the 8th floor last night.
I have never heard someone not give a fuck so poetically in my life. I feel like you should be leading men into battle with a speech like that
I go to a class slightly intoxicated and they bring in a baby. What a life.
I poured everyones drinks into the ice bucket and then stuck my face in it. Apparently I'm a greedy drunk.
well, I yelled "the tribe has spoken!" at a boatload of people and then I walked home alone in the pouring rain at 1:30am. karma really is a bitch, yo.
I used a jello pudding cup as a shot chaser last night. I'm the Bill Cosby of alcoholics
This is the fourth day in a row I've walked outside in the same pajamas. I think the neighbors have finally given up on judging me.
Classic dick move. Breaking up your buddies 3-some by coming into his room and doing the Harlem Shake.
I woke up on a navy base in a different time zone. I'm never leaving tallahassee again.
haha it's ok, I asked people. I was like "I'm high and lost" and the dude just said "That's my life. Love it."
He took a girl home at like eight, fucked her, kicked her out, came back to the bar, and repeated the process again at 10:30 and 2:30. THREE GIRLS IN ONE NIGHT. ALL PICKUPS. I HATE HIM.
How do you politely tell someone to get out of your house in Russian
Black labs can get you to do pretty much anything...even approach strange men in their bath robes
All I'm saying is Europe has not been easy on my vagina.
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