new midget porn idea. Wizard of Jizz: Munchkins Revenge
There's a very real possibility that I'll wake up in your uncle's driveway.
He compliments me like a gay guy and fucks me like a starved nympho. I'm in love.
She gave me head while using a laptop on my stomach to go online. I've never seen a better feat of multitasking.
Never ever ever ever ever ever give your number to a 30 year old at buffalo wild wings. Ever ever ever.
therea a video of her dad walking in while i screamed "lets have a fashion show!" and fell off the table
He drunk dialed me at 2am asking if he could put a baby in me.
As pissed as she was, you would've thought I was trying to get back into his pants instead of his booze collection.
I know it was your bday but bringing a airhorn and blowing it yelling "buy me a fucking shot" in the bartenders face was a little uncalled for
I'm about to order this penis-casting kit so text me within 5 mins if you're not down
My one night stand ended up seeing me the next morning... For my interview. Guess who got a job.
You sealing the pinky promise with a shot was much better than just kissing it
You sat outside petting a picture of your cat for hours... not even the real thing... just a picture.
YOU GOT ME SO DRUNKK
i got me so drunk!
I'll get the most aesthetic strap on, you'll see
Randomize
