Ugh now I'll have to carry around an overnight bag to all the bars I visit tonight. but hey! maybe I'll meet a dude! And need it!
Apparently Chef Boyardee is the only guy I'm taking home tonight.
What happened to the watermelon?
You fucked it.
If they made snuggies with a sleeve for my morning wood, id consider buying one...
whos cum tastes better, a guy who drinks apple juice or cranberry juice?
i want to major in coloring with an emphasis on crayons.
so finals studying is going well?
Well, my mom brought up me being vague about losing my license and she gave me the intervention look. so i left before they could bring out their heartfelt letters...
Yo, I can't just ask my mom where she relocated my vibrator to, can I?
preface to our conversation: my vagina hurts.
So the " I'm gay but curious" thing worked. You owe me 50 bucks.
So i had a feeling this dude with one leg in a wheelchair was following me around Walmart turns out I was right. He just asked for a picture of my feet.
i mean i let him but still...
well, mom whipped her new boobs out at the dining room table. So yeah you could say we had a pretty casual thanksgiving
It all started with a game of naked twister.
I'll seduce him with my charm, after all, I am a graceful swan.
More like a demented cow.
Damn. Looks like nobody I know is doing anything interesting. Guess it's another slut-it-up-with-strangers sort of night.
Randomize
