His vagina is bleeding blood all over the court
I forget the details, but I'm told that I drunkenly stalked him around floor yelling obscure Jewish laws at him
I just remember her telling me "Hi, my names Kaissa and I'm a lesbian" over and over and over and over again as I was crying.
Just threw up in my seat during the national anthem. Probably not good.
tell that swedish kid i didnt take his shotgun. he GAVE it to me.
I'm standing in the shower drinking with the light off and a candle lit, listening to Amy Winehouse. Be proud.
my head hurts. i need an adult
and not like a cool parent adult. like a full fledged party pooper grandparent adult
New rule. No seeing movies about plane crashes after killer bong rips
We shouldn't eat pizza in the pool
We r drinking tequila out a glass bottle and smoking weed underwater, pizzas the least of our concern
Sorry for pissing on y'all's floor last night
Nothing says "back to school" like walking in the first day with a hangover
And my parents said I crawled through the house
then a garbage truck rolls up to the club, they hop out, and walk right in like they own the place
She wanted a dick pic so I sent her brett Favres dick pic then she asked why I have pictures of old men's beautiful dicks
He literally asked permission to hit on me
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