You know you think of me naked too
Not since I found Jesus
There was this creepy guy on the bus. So I puffed out my stomach & began so hold my stomach like I was preggers.
Yeah, I tried playing the "see how long he can stay inside of me" game.. And I lost.
I swear I am going to pee, wipe my vag with my hand, and then slap you in the face with it.
I only gave you my number because I thought fat people were jolly
2 classes, 3 finals, and $30 worth of adderall until this semester is over.
My friend just ordered a beer and poured it on the floor in celebration of open bar night
Apparently we were just playing "bang a bridesmaid". I'm not sure if I won or lost...
I'm currently looking on facebook to see how slutty the girls from my kindergarden class are now. I have a problem.
He's only done it missionary. His world is about to be rocked. Do you know what I look like from behind?
I'm torn between wanting to wear lipstick and wanting to make out with strangers.
How am i even supposed to meet his daughter? "Hi, Claire, I hear we have so much in common, like we both love your Dad and also we're almost the same age."
He corrected my spelling during sexting.
i woke up on the floor in front of the fireplace and my last google search was "fuck sponges"
Hey long story short Grandma needs bail money.
Randomize
