You need Jesus like Tony Danza needs another hit show.
i have a girlfriend
if you're drunk do you have a girlfriend?
no
Shut up. It sucks being the ugly friend, I would know, but someones gotta play the role
Just got physical proof that at 6 am i was running around with raw potatoes threatening to mash them on his floor. Hello, Mobile uploads
sometimes when i'm drunk i choose the spanish option on the ATM to challenge myself.
I have to fuck proof my bed. It was in the middle of the room this time.
Not enough clothes on. Not enough vagina. Not enough drugs in my body.
He smells so good today
Seriously, back away from the sexual harrasment suit.
He turned me into a screamer. Guess I'm really not a lesbian.
I need a hug and tequila
I'm sitting next to a milk crate full of tequila right now
This is why we need to live in the same city again
It is no longer St. Patrick's Day. I should NOT still have green boobs!
he made me cum so hard i had an asthma attack
I told him I was studying his body for art, so now I have to actually do a drawing of him to not look like a creep and so we can hook up again.
No no. Thank you. Killed multiple birds with one penis.
I called him my big strong man today. It's all downhill from here. Matching Christmas sweaters, here we come
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