yeah she is the one who tells people i beat girls.. which ironically make me want to punch her in the face
Well i just wrestled a cop... p.s. i won
SECOND walk of shame from the westside Hilton, SECOND foreign family w kids staring at me in my dress, glitter purse, spiky heels and booze breath. I said I was going to church. More confusion.
You and your empty threats of no sex. Like.u.cud.hold.out.
I told her I was team Edward. I haven't gotten laid that easy since I told your sister that I had cancer
I need Christmas break to be over. I'm tired of fucking my old High School girlfriends
i am devastated. she was DTF and I was about to puke, i told her to wait outside my room for a second. Puked. Passed out woke up, she was gone. Found puke stains on my keyboard that seem to spell out youporn....
She just dipped a dollar bill in her queso dip and almost ate it before I slapped it out of her hand, no more bar crawls..
I made a mac n' cheesicle. Better in my head than in real life. Gonna keep smoking to see if it gets better.
I had to convince you not to write "happy birthday to the first guy who fingered me" on his facebook wall, right above the post from his current girlfriend's mother.
there was a sad and surprising lack of "did strippers and blow" in that sentence
yeah they are definitely having sex in that car. joe just yelled through the window telling them to do the "titanic hand print thing"
the manly guy you want to date so badly? he's at the club. as a drag queen. wearing higher heels than you own. think about that.
So last night, I bought mother's day cards and the Plan B pill.
He showed up at my house drunk with a pizza and said he wanted to lazily finger me while I watched supernatural. Who was I to say no?
Randomize
