Bike broken, reschedule party till thursday:(
we were having sex in the shower and he dropped me. try explaining THAT to your concerned little brother
Is it proper Ass-Fingering-Etiquette to tell her u felt her poop or just pretend it didn't happen?
what was i supposed to do!? wake up and actually ask her name??
he was lying next to me and i saw him text "score" to someone.
Give me one situation where peeing in your garage could be a bad idea
Just learned how to deliver a baby.the things i saw tonight can never be unseen
How long can I microwave pasta with a 20 percent alcohol content?
Just spiked the bong with a ludens cough drop with hopes it soothes my throat after i rip it.
Hey, I took a sweater from your house. And, um, your little brother's virginity.
Does me being hung over take away from how professional I can be today?
I just had sex on my kitchen counter. It's like the American dream
Your pictures have evolved a lot over the years but I think your angry dick pic phase was one of my favorites
long story short... we may or may not have lost your car.
I WANT GRASS AND TREES NOT SOMEONE SWINGING A SWORD AROUND
Randomize
