didnt we say no more talking to eachother
it will help you get over me i promise
im horny
ok i will unlock the door
things it involved: vodka, boy parts, possible photos of me on a cell phone. things it did NOT involve last night: my bra, his pants, and sobriety.
I am really glad that on the inside of a card from your grandparents you have transcribed the rules for circle of death
I plan on using my big titties for evil tonight.
They still haven't come up with a cure for a hangover; good luck cancer.
I think I would be able to remember how to smoke but I can't seem to remember how to breathe.
I'm really debating making a second facebook. Same name only with DRUNK at the end. That way I can keep the guys I only talk to when I'm drunk on that facebook and only go on it when im drunk.
Party was cancelled. Me and my dog are high as tits. Wanna go roam the outlet mall?
How do the freshmen here NOT understand the tricks we are playing on them by now? Doesn't bode well for grad numbers. Idiots.
The only image of you you know is from reflections or pictures. Its 2d. But what other people see is 3d. How do you know that's your real face! MIND.BLOWN.
All I remember is passing out with an umbrella over my head and waking up screaming bad luck for seven years
Never do acid then ask for a blow job while watching 28 Days Later. Heed my advice.
I gave my girlfriend a ring to celebrate our anniversary, she thought It was an engagement ring. Now im getting married and I don't know what to do.
When we got into his bed, his damn parrot started making sex noises in the other room
I'm classy like audry Hepburn. Chugging wine out of the bottle on the way to the club. Shed do that. I know she would.
Randomize
