im gay
i know
yea but for you.
She made Precious look like a solid 6.5.
fine. I googled it. you have to eat 5 to die so apparently I'm in the clear.
Today I learned you can't titshake with a corset on.
I'm customer of the month for a 3rd time now at the Wine store. I've achieved so much in my life
Then he complimented me on how excellent I was at breathing through my nose
I will come to your office dressed as a bloody mary, hug you then leave is that a good plan?
yes. bring a barf bucket too. just. in. case.
I see your walk of shame and raise you a day in jail wearing a girls old workout clothes.
GET OVER HERE. HOTTIE ALERT
^^^This is why you should have charged your phone prior to going out.
just chugging fertility tea and vodka, no big deal.
I wonder how many people I can tell that he has one nut before he finds out it's me spreading it.
Look, if a guy shows up at your house. He's short, name is Logan, has weird vertical hair, let him in, give him food, and a place to stay. He's on a ver important mission. And I am he. as he is me and we are all together. And we are the eggman, goo goo gajoob.
At the bar in my pajamas again
Ummm that is the 3rd time this week and it is Wednesday
You know something is wrong with your life when your mom is at the bar getting free tequila shots and you aren't
I just walked in on her masturbating to a social anxiety video...
Randomize
