I just woke up in bed next to my teacher. Does that mean I'm passing now?
its great to know that you distinguish your relationships on whether you can cum on someone's face
Outta milk. Using rum instead for pancake mix. Drunk Thursday is a gooo
yeah, that's what i said too. right before i tackled that street sign.
I just shotgunned a beer alone in the bathroom...what do you expect from me
I'm naked in the window of the hotel and I feel like I'm walking in slow motion like a robot
Apparently I told his new girlfriend to stop swallowing because she's getting fat. Oh, and I yelled this across a large room
I'm. Arresyed bur sierra ue obbe of mt vet friends. I hope we can tyajk ane gwt ob the same page. Ur aweaome ttyl.
I taped a pair of scissors and a coupon for a waxing on the door. He gets to choose.
I'm smoking in a kimono on the couch. Bring me gin.
Went home w the NY Islander in a NY Rangers jersey, needless to say he was pissed
my dry spell has ended & now it's like a tsunami of dick i can't handle it
I see myself subsisting on tequila for the next several days.
Are you alone?
No, but I have to leave him in my bed while I go on this date.
True I am eskimo brothers with every one of my room mates, but it was only two girls. And 9 outta 10 times I was first
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