I have said "that's the wrong hole" for the last time.
someone shit in a solo cup and left it at the base of the stairs. fuck orlando dude.
I made a drinking game out of watching your DUI video, everytime you say " okay, well thats just your opinion"
I'm sure it was awkward. I've never had a professor expose parts of them to me before.
My relaxing drive may end up as a surprise bootycall in Pittsburgh. Don't try to stop me.
She kept telling me to calm down. I was on the floor with my eyes shut, not moving. In levels of calm I was one step above coma patient
I don't think anybody else enjoys making out with multiple guys on the same night as much as I do. I'm like a wine taster but with lips... it's like art to me. The bruise on my upper lip is proof of it
Poorly worded request for dick pic resulted in stoned beanie selfies and "lol". Miscommunication is the devil's cock block.
It has gotten to a point where I just want to sit on his face. Less butterflies, more orgasms.
How hard is it to grasp the concept of 'I lost an impromptu saber bout and so I have to make a macaroni map of Soviet Russi, including Kazicstan'!?
GUESS WHOSE BEST FRIEND IS OUT OF PRISON!
He started talking about getting a puppy together. So of course I went down on him later
I can't believe I'm going to buy bitcoin to pay for erection pills
So I met one of her cousins last night. She recognized me as "the guy that's always in the liquor store", I may have a problem.
Dude no i feel my liver disintegrating
Randomize
