Courtney? Is that you? I have pictures of this very same night.
you miss my big massive throbbing cock dont you?
Woah.
that's not how you spell hell yes.
Changing from sweatpants to jeans at 3 in the afternoon makes the day seem so much more productive than it actually was.
he told me that my best friend was "one the most attractive people he's ever seen" and wondered why he didn't get a blow job
Hows that studying goin for you?
I'm in my bathtub in a robe and jeans smoking a bowl and my hair is covered in olive oil
you dont understand this isnt a sit at a sports bar eating wings and having a beer night. this is a show up to the bar with a fith of Jack and just let what happens happen kinda night. im expecting to smack a bouncer
Ok let me change into clothes i can run in
After they flagged you, you hid in a bathroom stall and text me to bring you more shots. That kind of drunk.
IT WAS SO BIG. I FORGOT GOD MADE THEM LIKE THIS.
Three Asian guys got on the elevator with a handle of Hennessey and a sleeping bag. This is not the start of a joke.
oh I'm washing fake blood out of my bra.
I NEED to hang out with you more
You made out with both twins? Ten points to you!
And today, on Faces I'd Like to Sit On .... The starting line up of the German National Football team
PSA- Wearing assless chaps results in embarrassingly painful sunburn
Hold on I'll be right there, I can't find my arm.
My boobs are too perky to pay that much for a car
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