ARI BLEW A 2.0 HAHAHAHAHAHHAHH THESE COPS ARE SO COOL!!!!
I'm pretty sure she sent a group text out saying that I was the one to get with her last night and sorry to everyone who didnt make it.
Honestly it was an honor just to be nominated.
ok this is the part where i go up stairs and pass out incoherently untill 6 30 tommaorw morning and not rember any of this. love youuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuu!
if I hooked up with that creppy kkid in bio does that count as doing charity work during the holidays?
she was pretty happy for someone in the middle of a herpes outbreak, how was i supposed to know?
So his "youporn" cam totally caught me stealing quesadilla leftovers.
Why is there bacon braided in my hair
All I remember is waking up with 3 penises pointed at my face. I also remember enjoying that a lot. And then I threw up in their shower.
This is Jewish guilt versus Irish Catholic guilt. We should tread carefully, or we could fuck up the space-time continuum or something.
I'm okay with that.
Btw. Being a stripper for a week without anyone knowing to pay off my school loan is no longer in my agenda.
Just walked in on him banging another girl. He told me " sorry but I'm gonna finish now that I'm caught" ...... I think this is the reason god gave me four older brothers....
the best part of college is nobody can tell me not to eat six toaster strudels and jerk off in the shower
He sent me nudes and then a text asking if I tried the new Cantina Bowl from Taco Bell. He sure does romance right, doesn't he?
An old biker dude just flirted with me at Food City. I enjoyed it. God damn I need to get laid.
You are the epitome of what awesome would taste like.
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