her voice is like 435,765 daggers being simultaneously twisted into my eardrum
i'd rather just be hit by a car than answer her phone calls
LETS GO REDSKINS!
Quit drinking and watching your DVR, it's wednesday.
Helping high family members not look retarded is what family is for
laughing at 16 and pregnant while fucking w/o a condom....
i always knew you were classy
those 9 inches of man changed my life forever.
She insisted on fucking on the futon mattress on the floor, answered the phone call from her boyfriend who was on his way to pick her up, and then had the audacity to ask if I was clean
I seriously might throw up right now. In class. Sunglasses on. I'm getting too old for this.
Do you remember snorting allspice and yelling at doughnut shop girl?
Yeah, I think they knew. I smelled like that telltale combination of strippers and Easter.
Steve just broke his bong and some kid in an american flag bathing suit and no shirt just fell down the stairs. Its dangerous here
So I am guessing last night was a success we are all accounted for and only 3 of us have hospital bracelets on
I was desperately holding on to my sandwich while we had sex.
How am I so hungover that wearing sunglasses hurts my head?
I'm just going to take a nap and hope I wake up more attractive.
I am drunk and aggressive about the olympixs
It's spelled Olympics
Randomize
