i wish i could watch tv and lissten to music at the same time...but still understand both
i think otters can do that
I think I should have my paycheck direct deposited to the bar
get home. someone threw up in the fishtank last night.
Yeah she is in it for the money, wait til she finds out i am broke and the sex doesnt get better
grilled cheese. we just shotgunned grilled cheese.
I used puppy pads next to the couch for her to throw up on....
it was like lady and the tramp only with a jello shot on the pool table
Thanks for your number, i want to ski with you, do party with you and sleep with you. Lucas.
Because her vagina is one of those illusive black holes that leads to a parallel universe where he is king and the sea is made of beer! That is why they are together!
A gay dude just spanked me with a nicholas sparks novel and called me foxy. I'm putting this on my resume.
If you bring home Chipotle tonight I'll give you an epic bj...ball play and all #datenight
i puked in a jesus candle last night and then denied it... i'd say it was a pretty alright night
just had an acid flashback in my therapist's office. i am a walking stereotype
dude. i woke up on a random lawn wearing only my boxers, with all my clothes hung in the branches of a nearby tree... no more shrooms
I’ve got a closet full of cosplay outfits and horny boytoy to help me ride out this pandemic
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