She thought I was gay, so I told her I'd be more comfortable with anal. She agreed.
I can handle NPR. I speak hippie. I took it in college.
just had to take a 4 hour nap to write a one page paper. its obviously the week after winter break.
I've been living off of popsicles and broth.
He's coming back with me for the week. It took me saying "I don't wanna drive myself home... I'm better as a passenger giving road head" for him to jump at it. Rack another one up for my magical openings.
How do I tell my Dad that in the picture he has of me and my brother as the background of his phone we were both rolling face on ecstasy?
I can't bring an entire liter in the bar in my purse. I mean I can. I might. I'm probably gonna.
Haha, I gave you the rest of the cash I had on me and you bought 3 shots for yourself and beer for everybody except me FUCKFACE.
Find a vagina and bring it to me. Like feeding a tiger.
yeah, you could tell they werent used to the strange things that i say. they were all outright shocked when i told one guy i hoped someone kidnapped him and stretched his dickhole over a fire hydrant
Oh like it's the first time I've had a bowl of wine
A girl just invited me over for a blowjob and beer. Is this a trap?
Now with the essential back story, I can empathize. Sorry about your beer and butthole.
He just brought a live lobster to the party.
I woke up to find I still had sequins under my tits. I'd say Sunday was a success.
Randomize
