it tastes like there's a party in my mouth and everyone is throwing up
we put on a show in the hot tub for our boyfriends, then climbed out and both got down on our hands and knees and puked at the same time--still naked.
It was like a little tadpole swimming in the big ocean.
You were waisted for 48 hours and the only 3 words you said were yup, sure, and michigan
He fell asleep in the strip club and they paid some stripper $20 to sit on his face until he woke up.
Waking and baking in my bathtub. In a giant sweater. And no pants. This is going to be the best 420 ever.
Drunk me thinks I can light up a cig anywhere, sober me finds this hilarious and highly irresponsible. The grocery store is not a bar.
Why the hell did you smack that girls beer out of her hand at the end of the night then buy her a double jack and coke for?
Its called bad cop laid cop.
Night just started and I've already seen a woman headbutt a brick wall. Unintentionally. Epic to say the least
I made $130 by ordering two pizzas and charging them $10 a slice. If they weren't so stoned they might have realized they could have just ordered another pizza for $20.
Dude, who WASN'T thinking of motorboating her?
Is it possible for mice to climb? If so I think mice are climbing into my bed in the night and playing with my hair..
She said she was sorry for rolling around in her own vomit. Honestly, I thought it really added to the party.
We were all having a bath, the three of us, then that drug dealer guy walked in and peed. Sitting down. Apparently he didn't want to offend us.
he's like crack. I can't be in the same room with him while drunk and not do him.
Randomize
