Small dicks are the new regular sized dicks.
I can only speak casual parseltoungue, im not bad though. just the general, "wheres the bathroom?" "open the chamber of secrets" that type of stuff
Omg. There's def a kid, like 10 years old, sitting in a buggy at wal mart holding a sign that reads "I can't behave"
you were holding her hair as she threw up saying "I'm going to be a great doctor" repeatedly.
My mom is getting really tired of hearing the excuse 'it's 5 oclock somewhere'
mowing the lawn. still drunk. If my dad doesn't appreciate this I swear I'm dissowning everyone including him
You walked in, sat down, looked at the waiter and said, "I'm only having deserts and liquor."
Then again, I'm single and napping with a stuffed yoda doll...so I'm not the world's authority on shit.
Now you know my pain. Live with it. Own it. Recognize it. Cause its like shitting napalm.
I'm more of a 'talk at me while I stare at you' kinda girl.
Uhm after 8 I don't recall anything. All I know is there's a picture of me playing pong with my grandmother.
I'm not gay but if a lesbian wants to eat my box out I'm not gonna say no to someone who knows what they're doing.
It's like the first time your mom catches you masturbating. We both know what she saw. We're just not talking about it...
You haven't demanded nudes today. You alright?
Dude I asked him to get me beef jerky at 4 am and he actually walked to CVS to get it. CVS closes at 12 but it was the perfect opp to dip out
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