what if the hokey pokey really is what its all about?
its 9am. i just got home. spent 6 hours blowing him in a closet last night
she just gave me a present from you... on a stripper pole. in front of the whole club. :)
WHY ISNT THIS A PICTURE MESSAGE
Get caught with marijuana. Cop takes piece. Buy new bong. Circle of fun.
I'm driving up the street and can't tell if my ears are actually about to pop or not.
A solid 8.5 on the baked meter, I need to stop.
we used the fire extinguisher you had been cuddling with to decorate the cop car while they were inside arresting everyone
I'll pay you to write the paper but not for sex. You should only get paid for something you work hard at.
Fun holiday story for you: Alex and I went out drinking. She left. I needed a ride home. Met this dude and told him to drive my car back. Once at my house, I made him take out my dog and then apologized for not wanting to make out with him. I said, let me go see if my roommate is interested and then I slept in Alex's bed all night.
20 bucks says he was an actual leprechaun
No it's ok I've been talking to the girl at the Chinese restaurant about your dick for the last 20 minutes. I haven't mentioned your name but she thinks she knows you.
Sooo a reasonable response to someone eating my lunch is to set the place on fire right?
I'm sitting next to the guy that peed in our drying machine
can we not compare my dick to a children’s folk tale
WTF was I supposed to tell them? "hi mom and dad, this is some rando I met on the internet. please ignore the noises that will be coming from my bedroom for the next 60-90 minutes. kthxbye."
Every time Brady gets sacked I cum a little...
Being single again makes you realize how guys can go from licking your asshole one night to never texting you again
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