so... how was it???
he had bart simpson sheets. he had itunes on shuffle and "don't worry be happy" started playing when he took his boxers off. sad to say i was neither worried nor happy
There's an amish chick decked out in amish clothes on a cell phone staring at me.
well let's see. after you forcefully shoved a half-eaten apple in my mouth, you ruined the pepsi by dumping an entire beer in there.
He told me I just kept sending him the word sex and dollar signs.
I'll be honest with you, my dick was out at that point in time.
you looked at me, pointed to a car and silently said "the elephant parks here".
I wonder if our vaginas are like "o thank god, no strangers breaking in tonight." Baahhhh sooo bad
Only catch is you have to sleep in the same bed as me. But no worries, I plan on being in a random guys hotel room every night. So it's essentially yours.
He doesn't belong with God. He belongs face-down in a pile of his own excrement, vomit, blood and semen. Then pissed on by Satan.
I LEAVE YOU TWO ALONE FOR 45 MINUTES AND ALL MY WHIPPED CREAM AND CONDOMS ARE GONE
Omg one side of my Labia is asleep. Has that ever happened to you?
He came in two seconds and stole my pizza so I'm not counting it.
Oh man 11pm. That means it's time to take my shirt off an eat a brownie
My stuff that was at your place last night smells like doughnuts. I'm not even mad.
please don't ironically join a cult
Randomize
