this is a family affair. You're an embarrassment.
whatever it's not my family
You were running around the house covered in syrup, with shredded down pillow feathers on your body screaming "AFLACK!" at everyone
I thought she was mad at me, but then we did a pose off and I realized we're friends for life
Packed at 6 am completely wasted. Damage assessment: 12 pairs of socks (no underwear), a flashlight, 3 shorts, shot glass, 8 sweaters, puff paint, one sneaker.
i'm at the st pattys day thing. the bar is packed. they just put on celine dion its all coming back to me now. i'm screaming the words.
it's 1 pm.
Just TALKING to him is better than banging my bf, imagine what actual banging will be like.
I've gotten 23 condolence texts about Germany's defeat. I got 3 for our break-up. That's how much my friends don't like you.
so its official, girls can see a boner through my snuggie.
Just wanted to remind you that you literally cut the underwear off a man.
Questioning the dried heart shaped nutella on my boobs. Valentines day has begun.
I'm pretty sure every guy I've been with this weekend has made a solid attempt at getting me pregnant...
Slept with my first Irish dude before I even got off the plane. Dublin has no idea what I have in store for it.
The girls danced. I drank. Then I danced cause I was drunk. Then I ripped tim's shirt off cause I'm awesome.
They are the perfect team. One always has weed, the other always has cigarettes. They're like the Batman and Robin of drugs
Some girl dressed in nothing but Wonder Woman underwear and a cape on her ass just started twerking all over us. Remind me why I'd never been to a midnight of Rocky horror before?
Randomize
