when people say theyve been sober for however many years is that like couple beers not drunk sober, or no drinking sober?
Sorry I couldn't get my dick out
totally poinked my lawyers daughter in his hot tub last night. i figure getting off is just compensation for not getting me off.
he came up my nose again i swear he does this just to piss me off
Im deleting that text because its a possible ncaa violation
Happiness is the polar opposite of catching your dad watching holiday themed porn
Just got walked in on while fucking in the lounge in the performing arts building. The janitors gave us five minutes to leave and applauded our exit
Id have to say flaming beer pong was a royal success.
He told me that before I went to bed I needed to do my stretches and then processed to demonstrate a squat thrust, while completely naked.
And THIS is why we get drunk. No good story, documentation, or event happens by eating a salad. Alcohol consumption leads to good things
Don't forget Giraffe in your car! If we show up in the same outfit without animal heads we're just gonna look weird.
If you're funny as hell and have a mustache, odds are I'm probably gonna fuck you
Lol I wish they went straight to your cock then shot out into my mouth like a cock nacho dispenser
It's the eve of Christ's birthday and I'm sending pictures of my tits
woke up and you werent here...its ok if we're never going to speak again but my furry hand cuffs are missing and i would like them back. thanks.
Randomize
