I wish facebook had a fuck off button.
he suggested i make a website called "cum on molly's face", to "start off my acting career"
Todays lesson: Chew your food better when your drunk. I almost choked throwing up this morning.
she was screaming in french about how classy it was to be drinking wine. oh... she was drinking it out of the bottle. with a beer in her other hand while throwing up.
He may or may not be blacked out. We put him to sleep in the community bathroom. He's wrapped in your blanket and he's already puked on it twice. Using your blanket was my idea. Maybe next time you'll ask before taking my vodka.
i told you the emergency thong was a good idea.
Showerbowl immediately followed by pullups naked. I feel like fucking Tarzan
its official. the only way for my hair to look good is to blow somebody
He counted every piece of macaroni in the box and then faceplanted into the bowl
There is a chick wearing some guy's shirt wrapped around her waist as a skirt... She's flashing her panties to everyone as she sings karaoke. You need to get here.
He's in the same dorm as me. We are sharing a laundry room, gym, and cafeteria. I'VE ALREADY COMMITTED DORMCEST AND MOVE-IN DAY ISN'T UNTILL NEXT WEEK!!!!
eh, I feel I'm heading for a breakdown and I need to get it out of the way before I start writing that lab report.
You handed me an unpeeled grapefruit off the frat basement floor and then took a bite out of it.
Already doing pt exercises by picking my margarita up off the night stand. Fuck yeah.
Turns out dignity is priceless and Plan B costs $41.09
Randomize
