when does round two start
I don't know, I gave up bartenders for lent
Saw a pregnant woman get a lap dance last night. I love the south.
I thought he was joking about bailing you out until I saw the picture of you and the sheep in the morning paper. Were those my boots you had on it
I fucked him in a hamburger. literally. he has a hamburger bed.
I feel like shaving is just admitting i'm gonna do him, even though im still on the fence
shave. it'll take 10 min. Better safe than hairy.
I had to ask him for the scissors while I was in the shower. My hood piercing was stuck in my loofah.
seriously. next time...underwear. I'm not spending any other holiday season wondering if it'll be my last babyless one.
I'll be in my room with a breakfast burrito at 2:30. It's up to you...
My roommate just caught me cleaning a tostitos queso jar with my hand and eating it. He didn't judge. Bonding moment.
If I shaved my pubic hair into a heart for valentine's day how much would you judge me?
whoa whoa whoa, you're saying I shouldn't post pics of you balls deep in a southern hottie?
You are allergic to dogs. DO NOT kidnap something you are allergic to. No matter how fluffy.
The squirrels were at the front door. Dude I swear..
Honestly, if you don't have a lawsuit pending against you by this time tomorrow, I'll be impressed.
My roommate made maccoroni last nigh dropped the bowl off the counter knocking it into the dog bowl he picked up the dog bowl and started eating it claiming it was te worst Mac and cheese ever and if he wasnt so high he would stop eating it hahahaha
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