i just woke up in the woods behind my house in handcuffs and a dan marino jersey ive never seen before
i turned job hunting into a drinking game..
We shouldn"t be alone together
you didn"t say that yesterday
you weren't married yesterday
just served this dwarf dude an entire pitcher of malt liquor. watching this will totally be worth my bartender's certification.
First I must say that I am disappointed to learn that you knowingly have trashy friends with whom you've not hooked me up.
Just took a shot out of a used mini planter. Might die from the pesticides, but didnt want whoever took all of my shotglasses to think they won.
that beer fried lasagna last night was sooo good
that wasnt beer fried lasagna, you just poured beer on my lasagna
How many weeks is it acceptable until I can start bringing freshman back?
I feel like everything in this room is sweating
Please root for the ravens. I now have oral sex riding on this and it's been sooooo long
Pencil dick carries the name proudly.
Those tiny little fruit fly looking mofos. They fly past the phone and I grabbed them like Daniel-San
I've started day drinking because fuck everyone else
She's not a foreskin expert like you
We shall need something stronger. Anal lube, the blood of a giraffe, and a bay leaf should do the trick. Make the paste and cover your left knee and anus in it.
Randomize
