the only thing i knew about you is that u dated jordan and were potentially interested in a threesome
Just saw a cop issuing a DUI. At 3 pm. It's definitely the start of winter break.
Well, I just hope you know I had your best interests at heart when I put your sandwich down my pants.
How sad is it that I'm looking in the farm & garden section of craigslist to find a weed dealer. I mean, that's where they'd be right? Just gotta break the code.
cocks speak louder than words, as they say
Nobody says that.
I think the closest to heaven you can get in this world is your morning dump after a night of Molly
I woke up in an apt hallway this morning and a nice lady brought me coffee cause she thought I was homeless
Haha he puts me in a mood mix of annoyed and... "just get in my pants"
Learn from me. Do not smoke cigs and fold laundry in your room. The cigarette will fall into the dresser without you noticing and your shirts will be on fire. Wanna go shopping tomorrow? I need some new shirts.
I emailed the police apartment to apologize to the officer from last night. I practically threw a hissy fit because he wouldn't hug me.
It was "against protocol"
Also I feel I should tell you last night when I came home I fell into my laundry hamper and woke up in a pile of my clothes
My vagina: 1 Male stubborness: 0
This makes me appreciate being single with no prospects.
ive started thanking my toys after masturbating. might be time to get some fuck boys
all im saying is 27 is too old to still be drinking 40s, you make more money than me, buy some decent shit
screw you you golddigging beer snob
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