Just watched a porn with the dvd commentary on i think i need to re-evaluate my life
Opportunity cost of getting to econ after a night on the town > marginal benefit of attending class
There are GROWN MEN with fake HP wands flinging curses at me in Walmart.
That's funny. Are they weird looking???
OF COURSE THEY ARE WEIRD LOOKING, THEY ARE STALKING ME IN WALMART. WITH. FAKE. WANDS.
He kept saying it was because he was allergic to the chicken. Then he threw up on my mom.
Yeah i knew he wasn't okay when he told me he was "seeing his vision"
if your not going to answer your phone this is just going to be an embarrassment tomorrow
She deep throated me and when I woke up she made me pizza. I was full of emotions I started to cry.
...and all my boxers are outside in the snow because????
she keeps giving me cups of everbeer.. its everclear and beer mixed. i guess its blackout or backout time
What sexual position says im sorry for your loss?
Hey where the fuck is the rest of my beer? Lets start this day off right
I'll just tell you, some how when we were having sex on Friday my collarbone got fractured.
i was so proud for not passing out at the same time as usual. i screamed that i had a "new personal best!" then some jackass explained daylight savings.
I just walked in on her masturbating to a social anxiety video...
I WANNA... wait, will you kinkshame me?
Nah.
I WANNA KNOW WHAT HE SMELLS LIKE
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