The dr is doing well, he randomly asked if I was bi
i just shoved 27 marshmallows in my mouth
well thats a nice change of pace from what you normally put in your mouth
pretty sure i saw you masturbating on chatroulette a minute ago. yes, i can recognize your cock
I THOUGHT I SAW YOU
Just made a coke joke and literally drooled on myself. How do we feel about pavlov's theory of conditioning now?
Dude, I swear her tits are going to give me a concusion.
It involved homemade coconut rum, a waterfall, and street signs. I'll leave the rest to your capable imagination.
I wonder if that one guy remembers you sticking salami to his forehead when he was passed out on new years eve.
They woke me up at 4 in the morning screaming "drunk adventure time!" because they needed a sober chaperone. They made me walk them around the block shoeless.
She has an inverted nipple. She told to play with the normal one until the other one pops up.
I was trying to chase her off the carpet, but now there are figure-eights of cat vomit. everywhere
Basically, I'm sure one day I'll look back on this part of my life and be ashamed....
It's a sad day when you can't take off your pants and drink a margarita at work.
I definitely think you should enjoy one last spring break being a sorostitute before you get serious and settle down with price charming. I mean hes not going to be there any way. he can wait a week.
Also I’m on 3%. Just Incase.. I miss you and I love you and you’re my everything and I’m getting drunk.
Oh my god, my vagina is cursed. He's cursed my vagina so that no one but him can maintain a boner around me. I'm sure of it.
Randomize
