**** and his GF asked me to give his stuff back, and they would give me a 100. HA, they dont know I have it to charity haha
Why can't I find a man that likes bush instead of a vagina that looks like it belongs to a prepubescent child!
Because men are children
Touche
Im so sleepy and hes snoring super loud! i just wanna suffocate him, sleep, and deal with the body when I wake up
And then she said we stopped for a train and i tried crawling out the back window.. again, i dont remember this.
I am wasted and people are fist pumping. This should not happen on the west coast.
the bottle said: caution extremely flammable. so that was my motivation.
got so drunk i was kicked out of my own birthday party and tried taking a bottle of vodka with me
I literally just wielded a katana to save a child's life. What did you do today?
Frozen pudding on a popsicle stick. Bill Cosby would be so proud of drunk me.
We lost a condom inside me, I had to fish it out. The next day he gave me a Gone Fishin' bumper sticker. True love at its finest.
I've already made the "blackout on move in day" decision
He was still there when I ran half naked into my suitemate's room where she was skyping her boyfriend and I started singing I JUST HAD SEEEEX
Thanks for coming out I think haley is drunk enough for breast milk White Russians
Thought the acid was fake. Then my reflection didn't move when I did in the bathroom.
You need to stop leading guys on at bars - you're a lesbian.
And now I'm a lesbian with better self-esteem.
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