so i walked in, looked up the stairs and all i saw was smashed pumpkin, tube socks, and marinara sauce
the only time i'm productive on weed is when i drink.
i dont think duct tape can fix my g spot
lets call myth busters
Its 4 am and he honestly tried throwing pizza at his ceiling for decorations
She was stumbling around looking for her cat. She said i could help, but i had to call him by his jungle name
The worst thing about it is now I have to find someone else to fuck in the library.
You did that scary laugh you always do when you're blacking out except she's never heard it before and though you were choking and screamed at all of us when we didn't call an ambulance
You ever just wake up and decide, today I'm going to eat a whole bag of fritos and a tub of cream cheese
I don't think the TSA would be too happy. Who knows if three ounces of lube will be enough for us?
Grandpa just put 6 jello shots on his plate. My aunt tried to take them away; he flipped her off. Living in the retirement home has hardened him.
if you arent using your penis to save lives, then what good is it?
Don't trim your pubes if you've been drinking. I can't believe I have to tell you more than once.
Being forward is somethimes a problems. Like in sexual deity Kong.
I think you’re losing coherence.
I am
If you can throw 105 mph it’s mandatory that you’re hung.
She thinks I cheated on her 10 years ago in a past life lmao
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