In these economic times, linking arms taking tequilla shots with your boss as an underage girl is the best job security I can think of
the mole on his forehead could get me off better than his dick
please tell me you have proof of this
After we did it I noticed she was wearing the same underwear as last night.
That's why you don't sleep with the same girl two nights in a row man!
he just left. I blew him in my kitchen while my parents slept down the hall. Welcome back home!
it's like heaven, but drunker
I have vomit stuck in my nose, you should come with a warning label.
I've liked him since I puked on him on my birthday so I want it to be special.
Thankfully US customs doesnt have a checkbox for bringing semen into the country because my hair would still be in CDC quarantine
I'm about to airblow my boyfriend. I'll three-way you.
Lesson: Never rollerskate with a 40 in your hand unless you have a destination.
Bought a gym bag tonight. Used it to bring my Taco Bell in the house.
Ran up to the dollar store to get batteries for my vibrator. Happy Valentines Day!
I'm about to go get lunchables and alcohol. Take that adulthood
You know the story of the boner party, right? They got stuck in the mountains and ate each other?
It was the Donner party... boner party was the porn version...
Put down the Captain Crunch and get over here. It’s a dickfest!!
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