I just put anything in between my legs and hope for the best.
so i walk in and shes blowing her vag with a hair dryer. so i asked what she was doing, she said heating up supper.. come eat ;)
i'm so jealous of you right now.
No that's sign language, not a drinking game. I tried to join
Apparently you can legally be topless in Boulder, CO. Get on it.
how are things with the new girl?
good, we have nothing in common but she likes being choked
I love you. We're gonna celebrate your 21st by putting people in duct tape bikinis and pushing them down tequila slip and slides
I dreampt that we were shooting zombies while we having sex. Is that normal?
I think I just cured my dogs munchies
I feel you. We can get adjoining rooms. It'll be like Disney world, but with drugs and ivs instead of roller coasters and Mickey Mouse.
Which is way cooler
She said she had a surprise for me and sent me a video of her having sex with some fat dude. It was a mood killer
If a marine in My bed is not considered a valid excuse for missing class then I don't want to live in America anymore
I am sorry. I am also on acid.
I'll just tell you, some how when we were having sex on Friday my collarbone got fractured.
Call it slutty but I take pride in being a first round draft pick booty call. And I know I was first cause he texted me at 1030a
I am literally this close to screaming out my window if anyone nearby was down to fuck. I am too damn horny.
Randomize
