I'm the only one here who isn't hooking up, coming out of the closet, or crying because of one of those 2 things.
the lady in the checkout infront of me had a case of beer, two 40 oz, and activia...really??i dont' think irregularity is her problem
he has 3 profile pictures up and all of them are him riding jet skis
Just assessed the damage in the bath. Two love bites. One bruise on the inner thigh. Strange awareness of what i'm assuming is my cervix. I've definitely missed you. x
Said he had been eating pineapple for a week before our 1st date. Not sure if thankful for his consideration or offended by his assumption.
I don't remember how we paid for the cab. I do however remember giving him my heels 2 help with the bill.
I have a beer in one hand and a slim fast in another. It's another one of those wednesday nights.
He's only going to be gone for two weeks
That's two months in gay whore years.
She told me I made the cut, and to write my name and number on the white board by the door. I was the 7th number down.
Hey mom, soo do we have a family lawyer or am I on my own for that?
Hey your work video crashed my computer. The 8 pornos running in the other window didn't. Congratulations.
My code for I need help will be if I'm holding a bud light lime..
The profile of her ass is just unreal. Weird way to use profile I know, but never more accurate
Apparently asking your girlfriends roommate for a hand job when u craw into the wrong bed after a bottle of rum is "bad form".
She said her name is "Goose" and regardless of her being a lesbian, sometimes she just "needs a good dick"
Randomize
