Your an asshole
Actually, it's "you're an asshole"
My point exactly
Girls don't like it when you cum inside them and then discuss baby names.
The girl I was getting head from just called my dick an anteater...I hate my parents for not cutting my cock tip off.
i haven't been laid since the bush administration. it's frustrating.
Some advice for success: 1) Go ugly early, it saves you time and money; 2) If you can't pork a princess, pound a pig for practice; and 3) Beauty is only a light switch away.
ur like the dr phil of bizarro world.
just took my abortion antibiotic with my martini. i no longer wonder how i got into this situation.
you can't just make up for the fact that you broke up with me by tagging yourelf in my embarrassing facebook videos of you
FYI the landlord called and plumbers will be tearing up the bathroom tomorrow. Apparently the tub is leaking into the apt below us so be sure to pee in the shower today.
I would not wish his dick upon my worst enemy
Hey did where's my bong?
In the tree out back .... Top branch on the right
Should I bother to ask?
Well then. It seems like we have a Mexican standoff of genitals
And we had three hours of crazy sex then his roommate ate pizza off me while I was sleeping.
UGH FUCK THIS TRAFFIC I WANNA SUCK A DICK
I lost my bra, he lost his virginity. Seems like a fair trade off.
I may forget my underwear, but you can count on me for drugs and plan b
Oh, the accent alone guaranteed a bj. It was when he started drunkenly singing in PERFECT PITCH that I knew I was fucking him.
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