the night i cant remember will be the night i always remember thanks to my "i
Why the fuck did you text me at 4 in the morning telling me not to have sex with the bird?
Also, my phone autocorrects ENABLER to all caps. I think I drunk text the word too often.
woke up to see a man wearing a sailor hat and covered in vomit sneaking out the door. Epic night indeed.
The whole movie was ruined when some chick started laughing with what you could tell was QUITE the mouthful. This of course made the guy laugh harder.
I honestly think the worst part about the night is they just kicked us out of the park and we didn't even get to go into Disneyland Jail
I don't think I can recall what a 23 year old cock felt like if one slapped me in the face.
Then when he got home he face timed me and showed me his balls
Your ability to eat ass like its your job and yet turn down quinoa because it's "gross" is confusing.
My disapointment is making my balls hurt :(
i think im in europe. pls send help
Why is there a waffle in the knife drawer?
The real question is why are there knives in the waffle drawer.
I’m really regretting these suede pants.
I was just told I’m pretty enough to be a catfish. This made me so happy...
First walk of shame in 18 years. Divorce is going well.
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