Currently having a discussion about how bad cheating is with the girl im dating and the girl im fucking. This might be a sign that i need to reassess my life
Tonight was like the Noah's Ark of alcohol. I had to have two of everything.
does wine, beer, and vodka mix well??
dude, everything can mix, this is college.
i just woke up at 8pm naked in my bed, with a fresh haircut. I wonder what barber i went to.
Want updates from david's night out drinking? If so text back DAVID to this number. Std rates apply.
She is trying to turtle bite me and when I pull away she says just let it happen. Then she pulled a poptart out of nowhere
They better compete for your attention. Dual to the fuck
Thats like me asking what you think of antisocial polish guys with mysterious rashes
This is what happens when wu tang raised you
dude, I convinced you I was your conscience for like 15 minutes last night. you weren't just "a little high"
Usually I just ask myself "have I been naked here?" If the answer is no I correct the situation.
Bitch guess who just got a fucking taser
So I couldn't find Leif..... He fell asleep in our closet upstairs trying to get changed into warmer clothes
Do I have to cook for the potluck? Can I just bring a costco size bottle of Vodka?
YOU GOT ME SO DRUNKK
i got me so drunk!
Randomize
