How do guys with small dicks who cheat on their girlfriends get girlfriends!?!
Saw a guy pass out and hit his head on a urinal. Laughing too hard to help him up
I may or may not have traded sexual favors for Disney on Ice tickets.
Oh you don't have to buy a shower curtain, I stole the one from her bathroom. It has dolphins on it.
So he texted me two hours ago to tell me he just took two hits of acid. Now he's asking me if it's possible for a house to breathe.
Is it some european holiday today? We both woke up to find loaves of bread in our rooms...
I understand why they say don't drink the water in Mexico... I just saw 5 guys piss upstream of where the bar tender went to get the water
I'm two guys short from fucking the whole baseball team and one is gay. I will be successful by the end of this month.
It looks like I murdered a care bear and put its blood in my hair to warn the others off.
You should know two things about me,,,1) I am highly sexual and 2) I am HIGHLY competitive so you telling me about how much sex you had with the other girl makes me say "challenge accepted"... you should hydrate.
My day went from bad to worse when I realized I puked out my second floor window last night.
If body pillows had a built in vibrator attached I would literally never need a boyfriend again
I'm 80% sure I have pink eye. This is my penance for being a homewrecker.
It's not even a normal fucking affair I've found myself in. It's a fucking bdsm clusterfuck.
did i tell you guys i finally 69’d for the first time last night? just thought the group chat should know.
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