she's like the human form of herpes, as soon as you think she's gone for good you have another out break.
just threw up while drinking by myself. This is all your fault. You here = a good night, You not here = alcoholism
i wanna make it FB official so he cant fuck anyone else. but that means i can't fuck anyone else either. CONUNDRUM
Its like we are women, and boise state is a gangster rap song. This game is degrading
Well you broke that rule when you put it in your mouth.
Ok Ghana you win again. Tell you what...Double or nothing over women's tennis, basketball, hockey, war, baseball, golf, swimming, diving, oil spills, box office proceeds, internet porn sites, criminals incarcerated, women's downhill, bass fishing, NASCAR, or GDP?
Apparently he ran around last night saying he was 'the hulk hogan of muff diving'
There's a homeless man outside the bar. I have a toothbrush and toothpaste in my car. I think i'm going to give them to him. And they said drinking is bad.
You're so thoughtful.
We found Mulan.
I thought you were in bed what the hell
SOMEONE WITH THE TWITTER HANDLE "METHLAB" FAVORITED THAT PICTURE
BTW, does Anne know that we used the lipstick she is currently wearing to was used to write the word "ASS" on my ass cheeks last night?
He obv doesn't know that telling a woman to chill will get him murdered
I'm at a sex party and there's a guy in an ICP jersey and trip pants. I see now that this is the moment in the movie of my life I recognize I have a problem
When we found you, you were half crying/half singing Taylor swift songs at 2am in the bathroom, and occasionally puking. I think I get "friend of the year" award just for putting up with your drunk ass all night.
Emergency thong? Check! Suspension bondage is a go!
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