forget your mom, you can see her anytime. A one night stand only happens ONE night.
Mark is going to get hypothermia. he is shirtless eating snow bc he "doesnt want to be dehydrated" tomorrow. youre in charge.
You know, there is no convenient place for your beer when you are on shrooms taking a shower.
They were actually really boring considering how we met them.
howd you meet them?
They got shit-faced and decided to take a train to a city none of them had ever been to. We found them wandering the ghetto, with a bottle of gin and singing Disney songs.
we aren't going to have kids. there's a 50% chance that they would look like him. not worth the risk
I gave her at least chlamydia. Maybe worse. She is also into chicks and loves taking naked pics. It's like the less I believe in Jesus, the more he rewards me.
Dude shes not that fat. Plus, last night I probably would've done it too.
These days, you and me are swimming in dicks.
Marco
Polo
Seriously, I want to give you a plaque thanking you for your dedicated service to my vagina.
I can't help the fact that i'm turned on by white boys that look like Jesus
Seeing your boyfriend, side piece, and great white buffalo, all in one night? Its a sign right?
Proceed with caution.
All im saying is that my face might fall off.
Bringing my cat to a booty call was not my finest hour
the last i saw he was butt naked on the top deck of the bus trying to conduct a drunken choir so i really have no idea
I just apologized to a wet floor sign i walked into.
Randomize
