yo my bday is less then one week away. hope youve found another annoying candian i can lick dairy products off of. also sorry about your loss
im dirt poor will suck dick for halloween costume
you called me at 4 in the morning to tell me that your toaster burnt your english muffin, and that you "fuckin hated that thing."
She walked into class late sat down for 5 min muttered 'oh i cant do this' and walked out. She looked like death.
We should party with her soon
It's nice to sit in the library and see the progression from freshman pledge to 6th year coke addict all at one table. Gotta love sororities
I just told my sister I love her. I'm in no condition to drive.
Apple trackpads and semen don't mix. On the way to the Apple Store.
After being his wingman last night, I've decided I will never talk about becoming a lesbian ever again. Picking up chicks is way too hard.
Is eating fries while lying on the floor bad for you?
If I choke and die at least I will have been doing something I love
You don't care if I shave my legs, but you insist I be conscious for sex. Whatever. I really think your priorities are out of whack.
Lets just say...I plan on being a bigger shitshow than Miley Cyrus at the VMA'S
the only joy I get out of her anymore is hitting on her friends and ignoring her. it's chaos for them. like shaking a slutty ant farm
In my top drawer right now, there are see's chocolates, condoms, weed, and my vibrator. One way or another, this is going to be a good night
Yeah, great now I will be tampon girl
I'm not well. Although it could be worse.
My cousin is so hungover she quit her job.
Randomize
