You're never going to guess who I just worked out next to..
Who?
Chris brown
No way... I bet he was intense
Are you kidding? He was prob training for round two
bowling with tennis balls and shot glasses. whatever you dont knock down after 2 rolls, you drink.
so I think I'm done having sex with her, she's way too crazy
what about the blowjobs for adderall?
no those are still okay
I say we get drunk before the exam tomorrow. At least then we have a valid excuse for failing.
Let's just cut to the chase. I'm not interested in anything romantic but I aAM interested in Tom Petty and maybe getting high and fucking you again for old times sake.
You called him your tasty little crouton. Which actually wasn't the weirdest part.
Someone asked me what I was drinking, I was drinking rum, but I was also eating starbursts so i told them "daiquiris"
Haha, you avoided her at all costs. And then she shoved her tits in your face
The penis is a tricky weapon to use. When using it as leverage you have to make it seem emotional. I'd rather use it as a club sometimes.
Going through my bras is like traveling back in time through my past hookups and relationships....
Below this exterior of ice is a layer of cum. Followed by a pool of gin. More cum. Then, finally a heart.
I hooked up with a blind guy last night... he's clapping in order to find his way around our apartment
he threw an umbrella that he ripped out of the table at the fence like he was harpooning a whale while the owner of the bar was outside then tried to blame it on an old man...
Guy running next to me at the gym is judging me. I think he can smell the whiskey leaking out of my pores.
Just packed vodka and spare underwear into my purse- totally set for watching the hockey with him tonight
Randomize
