I found a dealer that takes plastic. I'm so in trouble.
He's been dead since March and more people write on his wall than mine.
even iPhones love lady gaga. everytime I type haha it trys to correct it to gaga. this is bullshit...
just fought my dog for the chicken pie I dropped on the floor.
sooo... you have no idea who nailed their tubesocks to my wall?
All I want to do is fuck in the bell tower before it leave this school. Is that too much to ask?
Oh my god what did I do. My hands are scraped, there are pickles on the floor, my clothes are wet, and I don't remember how I get here. Thank you.
Immediately after I scarfed down an Applebee's appetizer trio for lunch, my boss sent me on an hour long road trip to pick up some parts. Great. I can't wait to shit my pants on US-31 South.
He is always putting motivational shit on FB. So its like i know hes sad lonely and looking at internet porn. Break up winning
She came so hard that after she finished, she started a slow clap and then told me she pulled a muscle.
That's crazy. Wow that lady must be fucked up
Yeah I hope she's okay.
I'm still going to fuck her husband but I do hope she's okay.
For future reference, when he drunkenly screams "YOUR MOTHER SUCKS COCKS IN HELL," he means that he's about to throw up. Invest in a bucket.
The magnum condom fits. I feel like a manly version of cinderella
So if my boyfriend and I hooked up with the same girl it’s not like I cheated. It’s communal.
I figure I since I made out with him that I at least had to save his number in my phone.
Randomize
