He just asked me to come into his empty apartment after he called his parents to make sure they wouldn't come home while I was there. This is starting to look like a bad rape scene from one of those made-for-TV Lifetime movies.
What do you want? Don't say anything that would make me look like a pussy at the store.
And my fence, why is part of it on the roof?
I hope this doesn't change things. I feel that me being a minor made it more exciting.
Just paid my credit card bill at the bar. This phone makes it so I never have to leave
He broke up with his gf yesterday so he could give me our annual Christmas sex at midnight.
Marry him. Now.
Dear America, sometimes I miss your Everclear and its consequences.
He just walked up to me in the kitchen, pulled out his penis and stuck it in my sweatpants pocket.
It was probably cold. Sweatpants pockets are notoriously warm.
Guess whose hungry like a hippo: this bitch.
ok I know you arent happy with the way we ended but paying someone to pass me an STD is TOTALLY FUCKED!!!
Was the picture of her twerking on a fake plant sufficient?
in retrospect i think my mom tried to raise me gay
Ugh. I just found a cum stain on my mermaid pants. Now I can't return them.
These morning walks of shame have became my morning jogs
I got sriracha sauce on my mask while I was eating fast food, now wearing it makes me hungry
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