Soap is not a condiment
This taco party has no tacos, just a hot asian guy in booty shorts. We were lied to.
I definitely made out with a high school student last night while his sister and my brother were in the same room. I think we're all traumatized by the situation.
How was your 8:30 class today?
Non existent. I just threw up in my water bottle on the bus.
For once I want to have sex without having to google the after effects of it.
Wait is it okay if I still want to fuck the whole USA swim team or is that only acceptable during the Olympics?
I remember us getting kicked out of the bar, but neither of us know why. We woke up next to chicken bones on a plate with spoons, and my car has mud all over it including places where feet shouldn't be, like the speakers on the car door.
Just want to apologize again for asking to spot your form in the shower.
You're right. Cause really... I'm in the back of his head. Even though what I said was better than "I have herpes"... I did once say that to him. So I'm like a reoccurring nightmare.
A legendary roster of degenerates has been assembled.
He just flipped the beer pong table and set the ceiling fan on fire things are about to get crazy
Just got an exam care package consisting of only adderall wrapped in money. Score onr for mom.
all I remember is them saying he had a big dick and the next thing I know I’m leaving with him
Maybe I’ll just go to the party as myself
What, a homewrecker?
Touché
It’s a good thing I’m the only one in the office today. My boy toy stopped by and now there is jiz all over my desk and couch
Randomize
